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I get this daily email about parenting and often delete it right away. But sometimes I don't. Pasted below is today's, a list of 10 tips--the most useful and surprising for me is number three. And I think it's true. When I get mad and punish a kid, send him to his room or something, it feels temporarily good to get that mad out but serves no real long term good. The worst is if I ever see Arthur acting out of fear I might get mad. That makes me feel really bad. Anyway, here they are after the jump:   1. The most important parenting commitment: Be your child's advocate   and don’t give up on him.  You don't yell at a flower that isn't   thriving, you water it.  Appreciate who your child is and respond to   what she needs, not what you think she should need.  Every child   deserves at least one person who is 110% on their side.   2. The most important parenting skill: Manage yourself.  Take care of   yourself so you aren’t venting on your child. Intervene before ...

[updated, cropped out Bailey's nakedness I failed to noticed earlier...She will appreciate that when she's older.] A few years ago my brother and I made a super high, super fun, super strong swing at the cottage. Not super safe though, it's pretty easy to slam into a tree if you're not careful. But the board for the swing is real wide and there's room for a couple people. And then hook on a baby swing and you can really load it up. Here's my ma with Lewis and Netta.

Jess and I never really thought we'd have a minivan, but now that we do it feels awfully good to fill it up with some many little bodies. Both girls had clothing draped over there heads at one point, something we found particularly delightful

Charlotte, our niece and our children's cousin, has her own blog where you can read a lovely update about all sorts of things she's up to lately (written by her stay-at-home-during-the-summer-father Mike). (Grunge comparison courtesy Zach Keenan )

Jessica hopped on Uncle Dick's banjo during our recent trip to the cottage. This was her first time ever playing the instrument. Wow. It get especially good about 35 seconds in... [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHKHiiBglK0?rel=0&w=640&h=360]

He's got no shoulders! Jess and I just love that.

My brother and mother and I went to watch the final nine holes of the four-day-long Minnesota Majestic, a national disc golf tournament held in Minnesota. It was at Hyland Hills ski area with lots of walking up and down and up and down the slope. My mother, who's barely in her sixties and entirely capable of walking up and down hills on her own, let Josh push her up the hill for a bit, a funny scene. It was fun to watch the absolute mastery of the players. Here's a photo of the second place woman Paige Pierce making a long putt:

Riding bikes to the May Day cafe for a veggie-sausage sandwich for breakfast has become a tradition in our family. And last weekend was the first time I've ever done it with just Netta and Bailey. It's a dumb thing to take note of, but I'm doing it nonetheless.

Jessica and her sister grew going 'deer hunting' at dusk with her family at the cottage. Basically just going on a drive looking for deer. It's about as violent as Parkers get, at least to deer. And I realized as we were hunting this trip that's it was sorta like watching a TV show. Getting all the restless kids in the car and zoning out for 30 minutes. There's a certain draw towards that sort of quietude. We even get to strap the kids in their seat belts so they can move! We saw one spotted baby deer and this big beauty.

While at the cottage last week I took the boys for an overnight trip to the Wisconsin Dells to a fancy waterpark. They've never been (I grew up going to White Water in Branson, MO, every once in a fun while). We went in part cause the forecast called for rain rain rain at the cottage and there were many indoor waterparks at the place. But the weather ended up being entirely beautiful (it rained at night) and extra fun for us to play in all the outdoor waterparks. It was super overwhelming with too much to look at and do. But it was also super fun. When we returned to the cottage it took 5-7 hours for the "this isn't as much fun as the water park" comments to fully dissipate.

Arthur gained so much confidence in the water this trip. He's not been entirely confident in the water, always afraid to go under completely. No more! He's seen here as I drag him behind the rowboat out into the middle of the lake where we dropped anchor and bobbed around (with life vests) for a while.  My plan is to post a few photos over the next few days from our short vacation rather than all at once. Little easier to manage.

This beautiful frog, seen here on Art's hand, was captured by my mother Nan (she joined us for a night at the cottage).

We just returned from our five-day vacation at the cottage in Wisconsin. A great, simple time that sounds more relaxing than it was. But it's true we all had a lovely time. I hope to post a few more photos/video when I have time in the next few days. *Updated with Jessica's point of view:  I had a very relaxing time at The Lake.  My mom said she never really  liked it because it didn't feel like a vacation - all the same work  she did at home but without the conveniences - but I have to admit I  rather liked the lack of dishwasher, the absence of toys, the  reduction of (indoor) space and the limited activity choices.  The day  was so simple.  The rhythm so elastic.  And I LOVED not having my  personal home improvement projects staring at me while my kids are all  hoping for my attention.  Just eat, play with kids, watch kids play  with each other, break up fits between kids, change diapers, cook,  clean up, read, sleep (really well, I might add) and repeat.  Easy. Bailey,...

Today we're leaing for a few days at the cottage in Wisconsin. Our first vacation in a long while, although I'm not entirely sure how relaxing it will feel. We're giving it out best shot. Here's a photo from a couple years ago and a slideshow from July 2008. https://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf

Art is alot older than Tsundi but they're still good friends. I don't know exactly how much older, probably about 30 hours older (!). They were born in the same hospital one day apart. In fact, I just found this photo of them we've never posted. Art was a day old (on the left), Tsundi was brand spanking new. Tusndi was born at HCMC but spent the first few years of his life in India. He came back speaking only Tibetan which was initially a struggle to understand. Not for Art, though, they've always played together regardless of the ability to communicate. And now, after a year of kindergarten, Tsundi speaks fine English. Here are some photos from their long lives growing up as next door neighbors: Jessica thinks this is one of the first times they played together after Tsundi returned from India. Now Tsundi lives in Richfield but his extended family still lives next door. So he's over lots and hopefully will be even more now that school's out. Last week his paren...

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tm57s9mBNM8&w=640&h=360]

My mom is in town for a month. A MONTH! It's an absolute gift to have her around. For her company and for her mad baby sitting skills. Our pressure-cooker-of-a-house has depressurized a bit since her arrival. Jess and I may even have a date tonight. HOLY FRICKAMOLE!

There are two things that Adria loved more than anything else, Jessica and Emily. She had devotional and unconditional love for her daughters. As she said to me a few times, she was in 'awe' of them. I remember her joking that sometimes she couldn't believe Emily and Jessica were actually her daughters. "How did that happen?" she'd say. Anyway, here are a couple photos of her with her favorite things.

These are the kinds of moments I remember from my childhood, quiet moments amid the bustle. Catching crawdads at Wilson Park , swimming at Lake Weddington , or just bumming around our house on a hot Arkansas afternoon. Childhood is so often about the space in between the doing.

This was Arthur three years ago buying a ball at Walgreens: And Lewis last week:

We miss her so much. I really wish she was still here. She loved and respected our children in ways that empowered them, she was my best friend and she was Jessica's dear mom. Our hearts still ache. This photo continues to break my heart. Arther squeezed in next to her to chat after he learned she couldn't get out of bed. Lewis kissing Bubbe at the hospice. Bubbe holding little Charlotte. Netta (or Bailey?), attempted murder.

Thursday was the last day of Willow preschool. We all went to a park and snarfed down lots of ice cream. Here are the children making some expressions. From top to bottom: Silly, scared, then sad.

Jessica took this photo, says she sees this all the time. Arthur is turning into the big brother he is. He loves taking care of and helping out with his little sisters. Not so much his little brother, though...

Should a father think about who his kid might fall in love with? No, it's realy none of my business. But man! Art and Evva are some kind of special. I CAN'T get a bad photo of them together.

I spent some time at Lewis' last day of preschool. Here he is with a 'fishing pole' he brought from home.